How to be closer to your siblings

She could get under my skin like no one else could, she knew my weakness and her aim was that of a sniper. My sister was also my biggest ali as a child, we could tear each other to pieces but this privilege was scared territory we protected fiercely.

This bond between family has always fascinated me. I am the oldest of 6 girls. We came along in twos so we all had a playmate or personal bully. As we have all gotten older the age gap between oldest and youngest closes and we are all pretty close.

I have just spent 3 weeks back in London where my family is based. I hadn't seen most of my sisters in nearly 3 years now I live in the USA. 2 of my sisters had come out to visit both at separate times. Each visit was a pleasure, I was able to re connect with them on a more personal level and our relationship evolved from sisters to friends. This dynamic changes when we are all together. We all revert back to kids. My youngest sister for example who I found delightful, respectful, caring, supportive and fun turns in to a sullen, rude, disrespectful stranger when we are all together. The middle sister who also visited me last year is a strong, dependable, reasonable young woman who turns into a unreasonable, bellowing, victim.

We bring out the worst in each other when we are together, we joke about it but looking back it makes me sad. I dont want to be a person that contributes to sending my sisters back to a place they felt threatened. I want to bring out the best in them not just when we are alone but as a group, I want to us to be supportive and nurturing, for us to come away from being together and feeling good about ourselves and looking forward to our next meeting.

I found an article by Jane Isay in the "REALSIMPLE" magazine, she writes about 10 ways to be closer your siblings. Here are the highlights.

1) CHILDHOOD IS LIKE VEGAS: LET WHAT HAPPENED STAY THERE

Dont dwell on who did what to who. Make a conscious effort to forgive these childhood misdeeds and they will soon be water under the bridge.

2) MAKE A CAMEO APPEARANCE

We are all expected to be at certain family functions. That's being part of a family. But showing up unexpectedly at your sisters 5k run or a school event, now that means something.

3) STOP BEING THE FAMILY MOLE

Sibling relationships are often defined by behind the back gossiping, weather that means secretly slamming one another to a sister or listening greedily as mum degrades a sisters choice of boyfriend, job etc. As expected all this chatter erodes honesty and makes it nearly impossible to be as close knit with your sisters as you would like to be. SO CUT IT OUT. If your finding it hard to tear yourself away from mums gripe fest remember it will be about you next time.

4) MIND YOUR MANNERS

We talk to our friends with more respect and manners than we do our siblings. You dont have to be formal with siblings but a cruel or petty comment still hurts no matter who close you are to them. Comments and digs about weight, grammar usage and choice of friends are especially of limits.

5) FIGHT TYPECASTING

Growing up you have been pegged by your family with a certain role. The responsible one, the loose cannon, the brains but not looks, pretty but dumb, the baby etc. No matter how you blossom as adults the roles stick. At the next family dinner mention that your sister "the dumb one" is doing well in their job, that your brother "the loose cannon" is writing a book and settling down. By acknowledging the way your siblings have evolved from their childhood roles, you give everyone the green light to see you differently as well.

6) PLAY NICE WITH YOUR SISTER SPOUSE.

By doing this you send the message that this man, dispute his unfriendly demeanor and brashness deserves a chance, and to your sister you will prove your loyalty and acceptance. If they break up it will be a even greater sign if you dont say I was faking it the whole time

7) GET OUT OF DODGE
Back in the day family holidays meant dividing the back seat of the car with masking tape and lots of she touched me she looked at me a certain way. Now on a trip with your siblings you get to choose the destination and the travel arrangements. Do things together that allow you to bond, eat together at least twice.

8) AVOID HOT BUTTON TOPICS (RELIGION, POLITICS ETC)
It sounds like common sence but to many of us forget this and make statements and pronouncements that land on irritated ears. If you are not on the same wave length as your conservative sister or meat free brother stay clear of these topics.


A good reminder that if family really does come first and we claim to love and respect them these 8 points will be something we put into practice.

Here's happy families.

Old Friends

Below is Karen, Christine and I.. Karen's husband is the male figure behind her . Karen married a Canadian Brother a year after Aaron and I got married. We were all really close when I lived in London. Christine is now serving in the Bulgarian Cong and Karen and her husband are serving with the Russian cong.

From left to right. Jarrett is Karens husband from above. Middle is my sweetheart and on the end is Tiffys husband Jeff. This was after the opera and champagne.



Below is Jenny. Jenny and I were best friends when I was about 9-12 before we moved out of London and lost touch. We had dinner with her and her family, it was a wonderful night and I had fun seeing a beloved friend again.


This is Tiffy and Jeffy. Tiffy is from Kentucky. We became firm friends about 5 years ago when she was in London for the summer and she stayed with me for a bit. She is an amazing artist a gentle soul and one of my closest friends. Tiffy got married about a year ago to Jeffy and this was the first time we had met. Jeff is a complete sweet heart. It was his surprise to fly Tiffy to London so she could be here when we were here too. It was truly a reunion.




Natasha, or Tash is like a little sister to me. Her mother and I were best friends when I came back into the truth. Tash has been through alot and She is 16 and lives on her own is currently studying Fashion. It was wonderful to see her. .. I have so much love for her, her sisters and family.

Rainy day in the pub

We got caught in the rain one day and ducked into this pub where we are staying at the moment. The fire was roaring and we warmed up with a hot toddy. I took some nice photos while we were drying off and then of the area on the way back to the flat we are stay at.

Cheese and Port Evening...

Its finally getting cold here in London. The rain and wind are a bit much.. I can finally wear my warm clothes. I panicked the first week I was here it was to humid to wear the winter clothes I had brought.

Tonight we had been invited to a cheese and port evening at my sisters house hosted by my Dad. We where wowed with a wonderful variety of cheeses and some wonderful port.

We also had a practice run for the opera next week. I have brought a dress just for the occasion. my sisters had fun doing my hair with extensions and make up. I miss messing with my sisters and playing make up even at 32.

Bethel Visit

We got soaked on our way to Bethel, I am not enjoying public transport. Its smelly and crowded and takes ages to get anywhere. I miss jumping in the truck and going where ever I please. We arrived just in time for a yummy lunch of Asian beef and noodles.

This is breakfast with Tim and Michelle, a couple that are my good friends. It was 7am in the morning and still dark outside. Sarah, Lilly and Amanda joined us for breakfast too.


This is Simon, he is an elder in my old cong Wood Green. He is a very good friend and it was due to his kindness that we could stay in Bethel. He works in the planning department for Kingdom Hall construction. Simon paints and is a avid cyclist be biked the length of Britain 837 in 13 days.
We are hoping to have him visit very soon. Simon is pictured with Amanda ;)

Breakfast with friends.

Bethel bed in out room

Bethel flats we were in the pent house.

Old friends and missing home

Ive been homesick. I miss you, i miss the quiet pace of placerville and my routine. I have been in a daze for the past few days.. Going places that are familiar on autodrive and yet everything feeling so strange..I cant believe im here and afriad before i come to terms with it ill be leaving.

my sister Harriette and I ( she might be coming in Janurary)

Im getting tired early but making myself stay up till bedtime and now im waking up at 4am.. I gave sarah a quick call this morning as I lay awake and she was so excited to hear from me I didnt have a chance to talk before my phone was out of credit lol It was good to hear her voice.

Aaron enjoying breakfast at our local cafe

I Went to my old kingdom hall on Thursday. It was great to see everyone.. I was very overwhelmed, being hugged left right and center. We all went to the pub after the meeting and I have dinner plans with somefriends tonight. This week has mainly be adjusting.. We have stayed local and been sleeping and bumping into friends which is always nice.. I had lunch with my spiritual mum, 5 hours in a Turkish resturant!! lol its nice that some things never change and Hazel like her name as nutty as they come is full of energy, corrects my speech, grammer and raises her eyes at my americanisims..

Hazel my spiritual mum

next week promises to be buiser... miss you all

SFO and my travel buddies

We arrived at the airport nice and early. Had lunch as we were staving and then met Aarons cousin Brem and her Husband Issac flying home from France. We had coffee caught up and then checked our bags in, no problems we sailed through security and settled ourselves down..

We are about to board hence im being brief.

I have some travel buddies. Amanda, Sarah and Lilly here are some pics just before boarding.

Sarah is on the left in a red apron, lilly is next with the blue lolly, and Amanda has the hammer.. These 3 will be on my travels with me.




Here they are on my luggage in the departure lounge.




Here is all four of us..


Better be off now we are boarding.