Friday, February 20, 2009

Text Comment


Txt comment
Your words will change others lives
that's the beauty of poetry...
regardless of our motives
when we share ourselves,
intimate parts of ourselves,
people are drawn by the brave
and courage is shared like the common cold.

The disease of the mind that we were gifted cannot be cured,
but helps the clear thinker,
the empty mind see a world beyond their own, and brings theirs back into focus.

Everything i write even and comment becomes a poem..
i cannot hold back
i cannot control the words,
only the count limits my flow and then i stop and draw a blank at the most inconvenient time,

I'm almost there.
I sound and feel like u,
my words echo your rhythm,
i feed off of your power and seduction,
as it melts from the page i absorb every drop,
luxuriantly drinking u in like golden dew your erotic verbs you have altered me for but moment.
Then i am me again.
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What is This?




What is this...
What is this that renders men afriad
What is this power that conquers oceans and time
That tortures the soul and pitys mens hearts
Drink men drink! And be full
Heady with her scent -- over wrought by her passion
What of her , what of this ache, these tears this love
What will temper this pain that leaves men defenceless
If i have to live on with passions fury that i might see your face
Yet a thousand nights.. live on ..i cry... live on!!!!!
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ANOTHER POEM

This is a personal poem i recorded it because i entered it into a competition. This is about my mother.




Chicken soup
I remember her standing over the stove her hair piled into a loose bun, tumbling around her face.
The smell of chicken fat filling the house with despair.
I remember the pride in her face as she handed us our bowls of chicken soup.
I remember our fear.
I remember her smile and how it would light up her face.
I remember how she walked through a room how beautiful she looked as she floated thro.
I remember her laugh and how everyone laughed when they were with her, every one except me.
I remember when she made me my first snowball, how sweet it tasted and how grown up I felt.
I remember seeing her in bed with a bottle of wine and throwing it at her in anger.
I remember packing my bags then the car ride to the coach station.
I remember feeling alone and afraid.
I remember asking her if she loved me and the silence that followed, before she whispered “of course I do”. her telling me that she loved me even if it meant that she could never show it.
I remember the last time I saw her, she looked thro me like I wasn’t there.
I saw her look at you the way I always wanted her to look at me, with a mothers love and tenderness.
To tell me I was the daughter she has always wanted.
I close my eyes and pretend that look was for me.
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POEM TIME

I Write alot of poetry and decided its time to inflict it on you my loyal readers lol..

KIND WORDS

I woke this morning afraid of the day, unable too move,
Staring at the sun soaked trees, how can a day so warm and gentle hold so much apprehension?

Your voice carried on the breeze, warm and comforting whispered to me,“our day is but a journey to the night, a place were we can dream”.

BELOVED

To long a day does dawn, I cannot keep longing for my loves sweet touch.
Night brings release till dreams lay bare my tortured soul.
Within layers of consciousness I do breathe a sigh, trembling at anticipations door.
Beauty! Seduction! Love! who temps my soul with promises turned to lies?
Anguish strokes my neck, lingering, haunting my heart, a thief stealing my tears meant for joy.
Bring this sadness to a close, show your fears and anxious sorrow will no longer crouch at your door.
A heart to weak to show the light I will guard and hold as mine for all our lives.
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FINISHED PAINTING

It is my goal to do a painting a week, this is my first painting. It was a fun one to get out all my little quirks, and get over my fear of painting. I find doing one that isnt that serious and allows me to be more free, enables me to be more serious in my next painting. I found a new style that i can do easily while doing this. If you look at the skyscrapers and tea cups this is new for me. The black and grey pattern is something i often repeat in doodles. It took me a while to remember it!



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Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Charlotte


There are some people that you are invisibly tied too. Family is the obvious one, but within that circle there are certain ones that even 1000 miles cannot separate that bond you feel.

We grew up in twos my sisters and I.. It wasn't planned but that's how it worked out. We all had a playmate to play with. My playmate and personal tormentor was born 1year and 5 months after myself. Her name Charlotte Rose Augustine Purcell. C.R.A.P lol a hidden warning maybe.

On a serious note, she is one of the most amazing women i know, and here's why. Apart from the continual teasing, she had the mouth and i had the fists. I was never fast with the comebacks so being older and bigger I would pounce when no one was looking. It never deterred her even from a young age she was tough and fearless.

Both of us having left home at a young age, 15 and 16 we stuck together.
It was the two of us for a few years moving from one place to another. It was while working in London Charlotte met the Lee, the father of her children and partner of 13yrs.. Honestly that was hard thing for me to accept. It had been us for past few years and now i was alone. I blamed him for taking her away from me. I was unsupportive and it caused a divide between us for a while, something i really regret. Lee has been a continuing support, loyal partner and amazing father to his 3 children.


Dispite all the hardships she has endured she has 3 beautiful children, and now studying to be Midwife at University. I am so proud of her. She has this amazing zest for life and turns heads when she turns enters a room. She is a beautiful strong women who doesnt realize how amazing she is.. She has this deep seated care of people and feels others pain. She has lost friends to death and turned those feelings into a positive doing a 5k run for Cancer Research called Race for Life, in memory of her friend Rachel. She has stood up for mistreatment of others when working in a Care Home and continues to be the centre of our family.



I no longer see her as only my little sister, but as a strong role model and woman whom i look up to and can only hope to have the strength she has. I know you do not feel strong, but look back and see were you have come from and how far you have come..

I love you and im so proud of you.
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Wednesday, February 11, 2009

100 Things About Me

This was inspired by my very special friend Amanda.

  1. Lets make it easy to begin with, I'm 30
  2. I'm married to Aaron Dinsdale
  3. I thought i would have my life figured out by 25 and have most of the answers
  4. I thought adult life would be easy and fun, i was wrong!
  5. However i know that this system is hard because Satan wont make it easy for those being obedient to Jehovah and i know no matter what happens i have him. So everything will be ok
  6. Marriage is refining me.
  7. Its a good thing being refined, i always ask to be refined, i admit i didn't think i had so much more to come.. i must have allot of rough edges!
  8. I'm most looking forward to having the rulers of this world and the people that deny Jehovah, beat themselves in grief at their hardheartedness when on his "Great and Fear Inspiring Day" the whole world know that he is the sovereign of the universe.
  9. I'm looking forward to getting older but not old.
  10. I think 40 will be a good age, i hope to have achieved some personal goals by 40.
  11. It scares me that its only10 years away..lol I've got to get a move on.
  12. I need to make more lists and be more focused.
  13. I love my dogs, I never thought i could be a animal person
  14. Animals and small children don't take to me, I'm not sure why.
  15. I think I'm a nice person, but I'm not sure as the animal and children thing gives me doubts.
  16. Pioneering has always been my goal and i think I'm about to accomplish it, I never want to stop pioneering, its as necessary as breathing for me.
  17. I have always wanted to be a missionary.
  18. I cry when i read about the experiences of missionary's and read the graduating class article in the Watchtower. Especially the older articles were the single sisters went to foreign lands to pioneer.
  19. I love matching up the couples in the Gilead Graduation Photo.
  20. I love colour, most don't realise this as i wear allot of black!! pah!
  21. I love to have beautiful things around me, like art and pictures of things that inspire me.
  22. I have a art journal/inspire book, its full of images and things that make me happy and can inspire me.
  23. I love quotes. I collect them.
  24. I write poetry, its a very personal thing for me.
  25. I want to publish my poetry.
  26. Art is my life after Jehovah and my husband, I'm going to give it the attention it deserves.
  27. I'm scared I'm not good enough.
  28. I love my home England, it makes me mad that people think I'm in the USA for any other reason than this is were i need to be, to be with my husband.
  29. I want to learn to sew well. Make clothes and soft furnishings.
  30. I want to do wood turning again, i love wood and trees.
  31. I love being outside in the breeze, sitting under a tree.
  32. I love to swim, i feel most free when I'm the water, its my dream to live by a lake or have my own indoor pool.
  33. I like things that make me happy like, cupcakes, flowers, coffee shops, my cup, my PJ's, films that make me laugh and kisses.
  34. I hate scary films and violence.
  35. I need and love my friends, nothing is to much to ask if your my friend.
  36. I love to read but haven't read in a while, i love it when people recommend books and poetry.
  37. I love to read more than watch a film. I loose my self in a good book and love that feeling.
  38. I am a romantic.
  39. I would love to learn how to ballroom dance.
  40. I think its sad that we no longer learn how to be wife's and mothers from our own mothers.
  41. I think i was born in the wrong era, why don't we have dance halls were you can have tea and scones, a young man would ask you to dance and there were social proprieties that were expected and followed, women were feminine and men were men.
  42. I love the colour green it draws me in.
  43. I love to dress in all different colours but don't because i would look crazy.
  44. It makes me mad that i conform.
  45. But i conform because i live for Jehovah not for myself.
  46. I want to be more organised because then i would get more done, in my head I'm a really busy person.
  47. I used to think allot, now i don't think so much. Is this a good thing? maybe its because I'm more content.
  48. I need to learn to be more content with what i have and learn to appreciate it
  49. I have recently discovered that I'm not very positive, I'm working on it.
  50. I enjoy giving talks at the kingdom hall, is it bad to say i think I'm good at it?
  51. I want to be a art teacher.
  52. I'm a perfectionist, if i feel i cant be great at something i don't try and i give up, but i never give myself enough time to be good at anything, its a viscous circle! I hate it.
  53. I wish i was naturally gifted at something, it makes me mad to see someone who has a gift waste it..
  54. I want to be a professional dancer. (don't laugh)
  55. I have fulfilled one of my dreams and that's to have a Harley, its my husbands does that count? I need to learn to ride it first. I'm happy on the back for now.
  56. I'm starting to paint again, this time i hope to make a living at it, I'm scared i wont make it, but you have to try right and I'm putting it in prayer to Jehovah he knows i need work to support pioneering. Malachi 3:10
  57. My relationship with Jehovah is the most precious thing i have and i jealously guard it even to extremes.
  58. I'm fortunate to have found my soul mate, the other person that completes me.
  59. I believe that Jehovah brought us together, i told him i wasn't sure what i needed in a husband so that i could serve him better. I knew my heart was treacherous and that i might fall for someone that would not be good for me.
  60. I love mint chocolate chip ice cream. My other favorite flavors are Raspberry Ripple and chocolate Chip. I'm not into foofoo flavours.
  61. I love chocolate, i like milk and dark with nuts, Or soft cream centers.
  62. I intensely dislike fudge, toffee caramel, cheesecake and jelly.
  63. I love cake and custard.
  64. I love curry.
  65. My favorite perfume is Clean, shower Fresh, Ja dore and Green Tea by Elizabeth Arden, as they are all fresh scents, Ja dore is slightly musty for evening wear.
  66. My favorite time of day is early morning or dusk. It reminds me of new beginnings and everything feels clean and safe.
  67. I find it hard to adapt when i have a certain plan in my head and it changes suddenly.
  68. However i can be spontaneous and love just taking off to do something that takes my fancy.
  69. I want to learn to drive so badly but part of me isn't sure that it will happen because people have told me they cant see me driving and don't think i would be a good driver.
  70. It makes me mad that i allow people to dictate who i am. I have learned to listen to me and have confidence in myself.
  71. I have a love of architecture, it is my dream to build my own home.
  72. I can be argumentative for the sake of arguing even when I'm wrong, but i hate fighting.
  73. I love my family, and have a very motherly protective attitude toward my sisters, watching them grow up and make their own choices (mistakes) was one of the hardest things I've had to do.
  74. I love having sisters. Even tho its hard at times i wouldn't swap them for the world.
  75. I have suffered from and recovered from Depression and Bulimia Nervosa.
  76. I have lost everything been homeless and started my life from scratch with only the clothes on my back. Jehovah looked after me.
  77. I love the rain it makes everything green, but i have found out that i love the sun too. and big sky that California has to offer.
  78. I like writing paraphernalia, envelopes and cards, writing paper etc etc cute patterny stuff
  79. I am a huge Star Trek fan, i wish it was real life.
  80. I have been to a Star Trek Convention and loved it, its the most geekiest thing i have done.
  81. I was part of the chess team at school is that worse?
  82. In school i excelled at Geography and sucked at math, i enjoyed English. I believe whether you exceed at a subject has allot to do with your teacher and their passion for the subject.
  83. At school i was picked on and bullied, until I stood up for myself one day and became respected in school.
  84. I have always wanted perfect curly hair and had several bad perms to accomplish this. I now accept and love my straight hair. I feel good when i have it straightened with the flat irons.
  85. I enjoy taking personality tests i know they are very general, but i love hearing how great i am. lol
  86. If i could make money from ideas i would be a very wealthy person.
  87. I learn't to mind map a few year ago and it is really great as a memory aid and has transformed the way i take notes.
  88. I hate swearing, it makes me mad.
  89. I want to visit India, Africa, and Travel on the Orient Express.
  90. I love different cultures and experiencing new things, and people. Some of the best friends i have i have found on my travels.
  91. I find it hard to meet new people go figure! I find it especially hard in large groups of people.
  92. I would love to start my own business, either a "Art House" were artists would have workshops and gallery space, plus classrooms for teaching. Attached would be a coffee shop/teashop so that the community could hang out and be apart of the art. My other business would be a dinner dance place like a place from the 1940's. It would have a big band and chorus girls doing scenes from musicals. Hostesses walking around with trays of drinks etc.
  93. I wish I had kept up my piano lessons and trumpet lessons. I want to learn to play the drums. I admire musicians.
  94. My favorite films of all time are, Dirty Dancing, Kate and Leopold and Somekind of Wonderful. I love 80s films.
  95. I love wearing odd colour socks.
  96. I do not like flys they are yucky and make me feel dirty.
  97. I cant wait to have my eyes fixed in the new system for now im going to wear contacts.
  98. I love Emeralds, i have always wanted to own a set of Emeralds.
  99. I also wear Pearls i think they are elegant and classic.
  100. I love Jewllery but i dont wear it much i feel over dressed when i wear it.
WOW i did it, it took me a while and i enjoyed it. Hope you did too.
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Sunday, February 8, 2009

New Jewllery - Humming Bird

My Friend in the UK has this little bird on a pendant, its so unusual and as soon as i saw it i wanted it lol ive been eyeing it up ever since and trying to find something similar. Here is a pendant i brought the other day its not as danity as the one my friend has but i like it. What do you think? A request too if you see a bird pedant can you send me a pic thanks. im gonna try and get my friend to send me a pic of her pendant.


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Cup Cake Heaven

CUPCAKES


This blog is for Amanda McCoy. Amanda's dream is own her own cup cake parlour. When i was in San Francisco i stumbled across a little cup cake shop. It was very simple in decor and didnt have much variety but it was sweet and made me happy to see. Its in Ghirardelli Square. Just around the corner from the Cup Cake Pantry (im testing out which sounds better in the title with cup cake) is a little coffee shop, it was so cute, maybe a over done but the style is just what a Cup Cake Cafe should be. Well my idea of what Amanda's Cup Cake Pantry should look like. ( im liking Pantry so far)
Here are some pictures of the Cup Cake Shop and the one next door..


These Cakes are super cute. This was it tho, the decor was brown and cream and very simple.. Now here is some really cute decor! Kara's Cupcakes

Very cute website check it out!



This is called the Crown and Crumpet its a tea room and if simplified a little would be ideal as a Cupcake Parlor. Crown and Crumpet check out the website.



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Lydias visit - San Francisco





Apologies for leaving it so long before i have blogged. Lydia my sister is here visiting and we are having lots of fun. Its great having a little of home here, the laughs and the lows.

We went to San Francisco and had a blast, we rode on the trollys, ate Ice Cream Sundae's at Garidelli's and had amazing Clam Chowder at Fishermans Grotto. We had Cocktails at Hotel Monaco! a great whimsical Hotel that is one of Aarons Favorite places to stay and eat, we are hoping to stay there soon or at least for our First anniversary.





Fisherman's Grotto, Full of really fresh fish and great food.









This is Lydia's new friend lol...




Harriette this is for you.. A genuine Corn Dog, me thinks Aaron might have have been a bit mustard happy, as Lydia said "any corn dog with that mustard"





This is us riding the trolly, I had always wanted to do it the way you see in movies hanging on as it whizzes up the street, carefree and full of joy. Well it seems that everyone had the same idea, when they opened the gate people ran to get the standing positions! lucky im faster than them and secured some spaces. Coming from london i can shove with the best of them. However i ended up sharing a spot made for one, and ended up haning on for dear life the whole journey. I may look happy in the picture as that was the begining of the ride but i wasnt at the end, my wrists hurt, my back hurt from being twisted. its not as pleaseureable as it looks... maybe thats the moral in life Nothing is as enjoyable as it seems espically on tv.
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