While simmering away in my Clary sage and Lavndar Bath one of my final attempts to naturally induce labor my thoughts turn to the day of inducement. Only a day away now.
I have the unwavering support of my wonderful husband who will be at my side, my constant attendant and birth coach thanks to the information and guidance he received at our Bradly Method Classes a must for dads that want to be more involved and understand the process.
But something is missing. The presence of a maternal woman. A mother.
During my pregnancy the absence of my mother has hit me in way I never expected. Now as I am about to give birth I feel it very much. The absence of a women, a mother. I feel I need the reassurance of experience, the understanding of a someone who has carried a child, sacrificed and given her everything push that life out and the solidarity of a women at my side.
I have always had that maternal figure throughout my life in one from or another. When I was young it was my mother, she encouraged my creative side, birthed 9 children and became a sign of strength and endurance. As a young adult it was Hazel who nurtured my spiritual growth and helped me heal from emotional scars. Now entering motherhood myself I feel absence of a mother figure when I yearn for it most.
It seems we never stop needing the comfort and reassurance of a mother. Even if we think we can handle life without it, something comes along (like becoming a mother yourself) and pulls at those strings, the ones you thought you had cut years ago and reminds you of much you have to learn, how much you need guidance and how much you need that love that only a mother can give.
