More research to do

I had a wonderful thing happen to me on Sunday. Jehovah answered a prayer and he let me know I can still continue pioneering. I have been struggling with my hours, London In November and my plans for ministry there where sank by storms and extreme tiredness. I had a test done recently that showed my blood sugars have been running high for at least 3 months. Might explain the tiredness I felt while in the UK.

But back to my little miracle. I was about to approach my elders and let them know that I have been having a hard time, ( we have had most of our pioneers come off the list in the last 6 months due to personal circumstances so its been hard being out) He said he was coming to talk to me about that too. In my head I was prepared to accept that I might have to step down and reg aux till I get back on my feet. But our Chairman of the body of elders told me that they knew its been tough and from April the first they want me to have a clean slate. I can start a fresh. No catching up on hours. WOW I was blown away.

In the car on the way home I had a cry. I thanked Jehovah again and again. This was approval from Jehovah, I was so humbled. I know he knows that pioneering is what Ive always wanted to do and I want to do it as long as I can. But at the same time I know I have to be humble enough to know circumstances change and it might not be possible, but as long as he will have me I will make every effort to do my best.

That said I am now on Fast forward to get my daily diet down. I need to get things set so in April, May and for the rest of the year I'm not falling behind because of not looking after myself, Or eating things that make me sick because I was in a rush and didn't make a wise choice.

I have more research to do.

Yesterday I thought I made a wise choice on food, I was following a carb counter book and ate a mini slice of pizza with salad. The effects, within 2 hours I could barely keep my eyes open, not just tired but I had to physically fight to stay awake while I was at work. Even my diabetes specialist does not know why that happened. Im allowed 30-45g of carbs per meal.

Today I took my meds and within 15 mins before I had a chance to eat nausea hit me like a brick wall and I threw it all up. Right now im feeling dizzy.. I need to go to work as I need the money. Aye aye aye. I thought I had a ok breakfast. 1 slice of rye bread with butter, 14g carbs, chicken and A short Latte 8g carbs, but my blood sugar shot through the roof.

Any suggestions welcome.. recipes.. etc

This and That

A general update and blog this week.. Aaron has been sick all week with the flu he had 2 days off and is feeling better today but he is far from over the flu. This bug has been making the rounds and people here have had it for up to 3 months before they are symptom free. I have had a off week too, partly due to "feminine issues" and that on top of my blood sugars still working them selves out with my medications.

I was so exhausted on Tuesday I put my self to bed at 7.30pm, and couldnt even keep my eyes open by the tempting offer to watch Mega Mind on Dvd. I slept right through to 8am the next morning. I awoke feeling much better. Today I'm feeling in better spirits. I had a check up with the Diabetes specialist. She is very sweet and spelt it out to me today that I did in fact have Diabetes and that it was for life. I would eventually be able to come off the meds but will always have to eat like a Diabetic. Why am I always the last to know!!! I'm not sure why the permanency hadn't hit me yet but it hadn't. The good news is I'm doing very well, I am eating right, varied and controlled.

I'm sitting in our little Italian coffee shop on the high st. A change from Starbucks, I felt more creative being here. I brought a journal to continue with my poetry, Its been a a while since I have written any and I wanted to have a hard copy of my poems all in one place. So I am currently coping and editing them from my computer to my journal. I may post one or two here and there but i find they are mostly indulgent and no one want to hear me wailing on or being sappy lol. But if you do just say!

This has been an odd week, it feels like its been on long slumber party with out the party, as I have felt lousy for most of the week. I have done no ministry, which is weighing on my mind. But new week new me right!

I just got a call to volunteer at EDAC www.eldoradoartscouncil.org. Its the local non profit arts association, I love being involved it really inspires me and I feel a little involved. There is only so much time I can dedicate to personal pursuits in this system. So this is the little I do for me in the arts. It propels me to create the little I do, weather its writing, scrap booking (new to me) making Jewelery or painting.

A diet thats wise and a bit of dedilee dum!

So my challenge is finding food, both snacks and dinners that i like. I want to be a raw veggie, nut chomping, smoothie drinking health nut, but ugh I am ashamed to say those healthful flavors just turn my stomach. Why am I ashamed to say it? because we, as a society for the most part are not used to such flavors and our taste buds shudder at those natural plants that come from the ground. They have no processed sugar, corn starch, high fructose corn syrup or E numbers. As much as some of us as are disgusted by it, our bodies are used to it, and oh they taste so good.

Can we re program years of eating?

Can our taste buds adjust to foods that are good for you but you gag at the thought of?

Is it mind over matter?

You see I'm finding that its just not working to try and have little of this and little of that, my blood sugar hits the roof. I'm still wanting the old foods. I still cannot envision a meal with out potatoes or rice. I cannot see breakfast with out bread.

I know I should be eating cottage cheese and carrot sticks but to me cottage cheese has the consistency of vomit, and that's just what I want to do when i think of dipping some rock hard orange stick into it. That is the crux of my issues, texture. Even as a little kid at school I would cut all my food into little pieces and then mix it up so it was mushy. I still do it occasionally. I do not like slimy, lumpy or crunchy foods. Of course the old joke is that the English boil everything to much, and, as much as I hate to admit it we didn't have crunchy veg as kids. We boiled all the veg. I steam now as opposed to boil but I steam the hell out of them. Even at restaurants when ordering veg I have to stipulate that I would like them cooked just a little longer.

So any reading suggestions, any ideas how I can become the lean green eating machine I so long to be??

You are what you eat right. I'm fed up of being doughy.

THE RUNNER INSIDE

The last time I ran was in October 2010. After my injury , my vacation to London, winter and then we moved house. I just never found the time. Nevertheless the good news is that I have been able to continue losing weight. The bad news I was diagnosed with type II Diabetes this month. See Diabetes Type II blog.
Since the weather is getting better and I need to start exercising again for health reasons. I have been thinking about what I should do. Im a big believer in doing something that you enjoy or you wont keep it up. If you are a regular reader of my blog you might recal that I had been told by a few people after my injury that I shouldn’t be running. It really knocked me down mentally and my confidence took a huge blow. I wasn’t sprinting or running long distances, If you want to be technical I was jogging and walking. My jogging wasn’t even very fast. I loved it, it made me feel good on so many levels. The movement, the self discipline that was needed the mental strength I had to develop. Feeling my body getting stronger. Being outside. I just cant describe how good it feels. Yet I was told by fitness experts and medical. I AM TO HEAVY TO RUN!
Last Sunday Aaron and I decided to visit REI, it’s a shop that specializes in Recreational Equipment from running, camping, cycling, snowboarding, rock climbing to hiking. It looked to me more for the hard core recreational people. Simon Hamilton you would have been in heaven in this store. So we played with the sleeping bags, and footwear. Looking around I felt a familiar feeling rising within me. It was like a fire little sparks at first then a raging inferno. This is what I wanted to do. I want to ski, snowboard, climb, run, hike, I want to challenge my body I love the feeling of pushing myself physically. I missed that feeling and I ached inside. This is the me I’m supposed to be instead of watching from the side lines I’m meant to be doing it. I needed to be inspired, I walked over to the book section and picked up a book on running. Opened the book and read this paragraph.
“Deep down the most important reason to be a runner is very simple - you want to be one. Always remember your body knows how to run. The runner you become starts with your intention. Weather you are running alone or with friends, for the thrill of competition or to feel good about yourself, it all starts within you. Hold on to the image of your self as a runner, remind yourself you are as much a runner as anyone else on this planet. With this in mind it wont be long until you believe it. Experienced runners will tell you that even though running seems like a purely physical endeavor, it relies on a firm psychological foundation of enthusiasm, commitment and experience. In other words if you get your mind running your feet will follow. I read this with tears streaming down my face. I had permission to run again. I wanted to run again and I would run again. The book “Runners world best, getting started” is written by Adam Bean and the Editors of Runners world Magazine.
The book also went on to dismiss myths about running. Such as…..

Running is bad for you knees.
The knee joint has been fine-tuned to with stand running. Running not walking is the most natural form of movement. Running can actually strengthen joints by toning the body in multiple ways.

Only thin people should run.
People of all body types run regularly and even start and finish races of all lengths. You don’t have to have the perfect body to begin a running program. Start running and your inner athlete will start to show, regardless of large, small, thin or stout you are. Running can reshape not only your body but your life as well.

You need lots of stamina to run.
Running builds stamina and you begin and train wisely - increasing the amount of time and run slowly and taking enough rest days - you will have the endurance you need to run.

Joggers arent real runners.
If you take only one thing from this book let it be this: All runners walk and all runners jog (that is run slowly) Take to heart that you and world Olympic marathon runners the world over walk and run slowly from time to time because it is the right thing at a given point in their training. As an athlete, you can and should work out the best possible way for increased stamina and achievement: running as well as walking and jogging are all aspects if your workout, and none should carry a stigma of weakness or non athleticism.

I have a plan, Im going to start running again. Watch space people because Im Back!

Diabetes Type II

I made a OBGYN appointment last month due to female health issues im having. Blood works were ordered and there it was in black and white, my blood sugars have been running high for at least 3 months. Most peoples run 80-100, mine have been 200-300.

Its funny how getting ill effects you emotionally. I was in a little denial at first, hoping the high blood sugar was related to my Thyroid being off, but more tests showed even my thyroid was off which Im taking meds for it, it wasn’t off enough to make my sugars as high as they are. Then I went through a period of anger and why me. Anger because I had let this happen. That it was a direct result of me being overweight, which is a direct result of my eating disorder which is a symptom of a childhood trauma. I will be paying for my past until the new system, this makes me very angry. But I have the power to change and I WILL CONTROL this. This will not control me. Why me, because I am trying so hard to educate my self and im making changes, I eat better and healthier than a lot of people I know and Im the one that gets sick. I still get overwhelmed and break down in tears.

There is a sliver lining to every cloud as they say. I have now fast tracked my eating habits and life style changes. This is no longer I will plan, but is a “I am doing.”
It is not easy. I have found that I can live with less sugar. After all we all know that we shouldn’t be eating those things. But the carbs, that’s harder, I had already switched to whole wheat and whole grains. But as my body can no longer deal with carbs very well. I can have very little bread, potatoes which includes fries, rice, pasta, and anything white and processed. Of course it goes with out saying no baked goods, or sweets. Even vegetables and salad have carbs. So I have to count and weight everything I eat now. I am on tablets that help lower my blood sugar and today it got so low I nearly passed out. That’s the difficulty. My body is used to running at a low of 200 and its goes up and down from there through the day. Now with the meds after eating which is supposed to be the highest it gets, mine registered at 179. Which is good for most people but for me it was a huge drop. I felt I just needed to sleep, I came home and could barley focus on the road while driving. I called the doctor as I didn’t know what to do. It was good that I was low but I was feeling lousy. She told me that I should treat it as low blood sugar, because for me it was, I needed sugar asap and I have none in the house. I had an orange but that only made a 2 point increase. So I grabbed a spoon and sunk it into my jar of Nutella. After a few minutes I could feel the sugar coursing through my veins. My headache that I had all day had finally gone and I rested.

My doctor told me that we are aiming to lower my sugars gradually and that I have to carry apple juice, hard candy, and other things to increase my blood sugar if needed.
I feel so frustrated. I have avoided carbs and sweets for almost a month now, trying to keep my blood sugar low and now Im being asked to introduce some of those things back into my diet. Apparently the mediation hasn’t even taken its full effect. I will be increasing my dose next week and then it wont be fully into my system for a few weeks yet. Im confused if only after a few days its already had this effect on me, whats going to happen when its really working. What am I going to have to eat to keep me from going into a diabetic coma!!!.. LOTS OF CHOCOLATE Hahaha…Kidding. If you have any experience with this or have advice please leave a comment.