Right now I'm hating this with a passion. I hate fruit and the smell of fruit and veggies.
This mornings juice was good, the usual yummy fruit with carrots. Then lunch hit. I dread lunch deep inside me, knowing I will have to face a veggie juice. This lunch time was particularly horrific. The juice was awful. Aaron chugged and said it tasted like a salad. The cucumber was a little overwhelming. I carried mine around with me most of the afteroon before admitting defeat. I had, had 1/4 of my juice.
suck it up you might think but in reality this is huge for me. Even before this I NEVER ate raw food. Why? I dont like the way it tastes. I know that our taste buds have been hijacked by sugar and high fructose corn syrup, which is why I wanted to do this in the first place but I dont think I really considered how hard I would find even the taste. As those who know me, know I have texture issues. I dont like crunchy food, really crunchy food like most raw foods. I even struggle with salad and cut it into very small pieces. It seems however texture wasnt the only thing stopping me from eating raw its the taste too. It makes me shudder.
Today I am also mourning food in a way. The real dependance on food as a comfort has reveled its self. I am depressed, unmotivated and feel that I have nothing good to look forward to in my days now. It shames me to say it, but that's how I feel. When dealing with daily life and the things we dont typically want to deal with, there would be a treat later to make myself feel good. Coffee, chocolate, dinner, whatever it was I found happiness in things that taste good. But like a drug it only lasted a moment. Then on to the next good thing to taste. Of course most of them consisted of sugar or some kind of carb.
I saw a DVD the other day that touched on just that within our culture. The high we get from food. But if i compare this to some of things I have been through in life this doesn't even make the top 100. I'm learning that I can function on less food. That in reality nothing has changed except my access to certain foods.. I have lost 6lbs in 3 days and Aaron 7.5lbs. That is what is keeping me going. Seeing the scales go down everyday.
There is a genuine worry though. If I cannot break through the taste thing and start taking in enough juice I could get sick. So If that becomes a concern, then I will have to take one meal - Dinner and eat steamed and cooked veggies instead of a juice. I will cross that road when I come to it. I am going to give myself a good 7-10days before making that decision. Its early days yet.
Aarons dinner juice has given me hope it tastes really good.
2 comments:
Sounds like you need some distractions - and some comfort (from something other than food). I'll be there first thing in the morning!!!
Have you tried putting in some ginger root? Makes it taste yummy and Asian.
You really will get past this and start loving it. If you want to give your body this gift, you just have to think of what is your food right now. Just as the tablecloth and the salt shaker and the lightbulbs are NOT your food, neither are the coffee drinks and the chocolate and the comfy foods. It's the juice. The healthy YUMMY juice that is going clean you out and get you ready for the best spring ever! That is the food you have right now.
Juicing is 90% mental and 10% juice.
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